August 2007

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Aerating

The problem I have with composting right now is that it’s not enough simply to put in the vegetables that have gone bad in the refrigerator, or to be dutiful about collecting the remains on the cutting board – like the broccoli stalks that I really should eat but toss because I always have what feels like an abundance of broccoli around and I’m just disgustingly profligate with it, or to scoop up the melon rinds that suddenly are everywhere once the kids feel like devouring half a watermelon. No, the problem is you can be conscientious – even saintly – about making the trip out to the compost bin and depositing all this stuff. But that’s only half the battle. You then have to aerate it. You have to deal with all that half rotten slimy stuff and mix it around. This is the step I avoid, and it’s why I’ll probably never be a really first-rate composter.

But I’m thinking about aeration issues and why you really do need to get in and mix things up every now and then because I am – of course – rewriting. And it’s night. And I’m not going to eat chocolate (which is how I got to the point of having written something that needs to be rewritten in the first place; sometimes people ask how I did it with kids, job, etc. etc. and the answer really is good dark chocolate.) When I’m stuck like this – going through the Word file for the umpteenth time, knowing the thing by heart – I end up doing tweaks. It gets down to word choice and punctuation. Useless. So tonight I’m going to move chunks around. I know I’ve needed to do it and I’ve been tweaking instead. But this seems exactly like the kind of pitchfork job I could do on a somewhat brain dead night like this. That is, not think about the language or anything tweakable, but just get stuff moved around and in place. Then I’ll have done the kind of manual labor, like aerating, that always makes me forget everything else while I’m doing it, and I’ll feel very virtuous afterward. Hopefully…

Earlier this summer I took a plot workshop with Martha Alderson that was really useful. It had shown up in a SCBWI announcement email, and it seemed like something that could help out as I tried to figure out some children’s book stuff (since I love my character Lucy, I’m trying to see how I can stretch her into more books). But it turned out to pack all kinds of revelations about other projects I was working on, too. And it really was the key in moving forward on my other novel. Suddenly I understood whole new universes of information about Manzanita, the hapless wannabe academic I’m writing about. And it became totally clear how I needed to reshape the second half of her story.

Now, I hate to write from an outline. And I absolutely hate to look at the page count and from there consider which plot point I’m headed toward. To me that makes writing feel like screenwriter hell – and it gives me bad flashbacks of a time when I tied myself in knots after too much time spent with Robert McKee’s Story and one particularly recalcitrant manuscript. But the strange truth is that stepping back and looking at plot at the right time in the process has totally changed things for me.

Pleasure Writing?

Right now I’m struggling with something in my “grown up” novel that just really seems silly from the perspective of a children’s writer, and that is, how much fun should this thing be to read? Should my character find romance, should the guy who seems like an obvious love interest actually be the love interest?! should there be an ending that wraps things up, how much should I balance the fun of reading with the seriousness of my Big Idea?

A previous draft ended with my dear protagonist bleeding to death, alone, in the back of a rental truck used for transporting illegal drugs and realizing that her brother has betrayed her. New ending? Dear protagonist is embraced in the bosom of her family, a wedding has everyone put aside their differences and realize how much they love each other, the love interest beckons.

I guess it’s the enduring influence of my grad school writing program that still gives me these night terrors about writing something that’s actually fun to write – and to read.